a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
(via yourjewishfantasy)
one time in high school i didnt read the assigned book and i was like fuck it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some shit about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book
(via humoristics)
‘stop being overdramatic’ they say
‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
(via laughbitches)
I SERVED A KID DRESSED AS IRON MAN TODAY AND I ASKED HIM WHAT HIS NAME WAS AND HE SAID IT WAS TONY AND HIS MUM SHOOK HER HEAD AND WAS LIKE NO HIS NAME IS JESSE AND I LOOKED BACK AT THE KID TO GIVE HIM HIS CHANGE AND SAID ‘HAVE A NICE DAY MR STARK’ AND HE GOT SO EXCITED AND RAN OFF WITH HIS SISTER IT WAS GREAT
(via mariatimarchixo)
MY FRIEND APRIL JUST TOLD ME THAT A GUY IN HER DORM BUILDING HAS A TATTOO OF A CAT RIDING A PIZZA SKATEBOARD AND IT SAYS “GET MEOWTA HERE”
i wasn’t kidding okay
(via laughbitches)
this has to be the worst picture ever taken of a football player
i think you mean the best
(via yourjewishfantasy)
yeah there are a lot of fish in the sea but how many have low standards
(via yourjewishfantasy)
what if amanda bynes is locked up somewhere, and penelope tate is pretending to be her causing trouble
(via pizza)
